And then there's night

*disclaimer: this one is pretty depressing.*

You know, you'd think I'd be too old to get homesick and stay homesick. Most days, I love spending the days working away at whatever small project I'm working on for work, investing in girls' lives, and just learning how to do my job well. Even on the days I don't like it, I'm at least busy and not thinking about home.

But then, night comes. Night is when the world slows down enough for me to be quiet. Night is when I start communicating with my friends back home, through email or snail mail or Facebook, or sometimes, when I'm really lucky, over the phone. Night is when my heart aches for home, aches for dropping by Mom & Dad's just to say hi (and go "grocery shopping" in the cupboards), aches for having a large group of people who love me and who I love back, aches for 20s and the social life and love they gave me. My heart aches for my friends and for my cousins, for a workplace where our team ran admin like a well-oiled machine, and did it with pride and love for each other.

Don't get me wrong. I love living with Phil. He is so good to me, and we laugh a lot. But, as so many wise people will tell us young marrieds, one person can't replace all the other people you love in your life, can't fill all your needs.

I know one day, maybe even soon, we'll have wonderful new friends who we'll make wonderful new memories with. And during the day, I'm fine. But in the quiet of the night, my heart cries out for home.